South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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