oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
