Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize