Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
