Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize