how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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