Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
