Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
