Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
