I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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