i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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