i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
