I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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