I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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