My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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