Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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