this boner is exhausting
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
