he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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