Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
