So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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