This is not my ceiling
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
