I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
