I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize