Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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