remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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