All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
