just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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