Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize