Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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