i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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