no, he came in my armpit
there's paper in my vomit.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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