Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I touched a dick in church today
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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