I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
