I just made out with a guy for $7.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
try to milk me bitch
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