I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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