dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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