she looked like the bat from fern gully.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
