i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
