i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
