she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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