I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
