It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
