Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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