Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
