guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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