batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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