dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
