HIV tests are more positive than that guy
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
