ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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