When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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