i wish there were pregnant emoticons
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize