Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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