I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i think i have two assholes
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
