PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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