so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The feeling are messing with the penis
be right there i have to get my cape
Is Oprah even human
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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