Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
