Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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