I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
