i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
3 2 1 whiskey
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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