all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
